Kofi Annan

At a press conference today in New York, Kofi Annan, the UN Secretary General, has welcomed shock news from Fetcham in Surrey.

Well known lazy cyclist, and general all round idle sod, Mark Jones, was so ashamed of the state of his bike after returning from a ride on Saturday morning, that he actually washed it.

Mr Annan, has echoed world leaders in his commendation of this audacious move.

Mr Jones was unavailable for comment.