Ok, the title doesn’t really have anything to do with mountain biking, but at least it made you look at the article.

In an odd way it does have something to do with cycling in general. I had better explain, before you just surmise that all I really do is listen to Katy Perry songs and dream of lesbian trysts.

Over the past few months I haven’t really been out on my bike. This has been due to me being too busy/lazy/henpecked (please delete as appropriate). The upshot is I am badly out of condition again and need to get off my arse and get fit.

Last week I finally got out with Matt, for a quick blast along the tarmac. Matt and I rode from Fetcham, through Leatherhead, out to Dorking and back.

With Matt on his super slick road tyres and me carrying about a stone of sheer flab, it started out as a bloody hard ride for me. By the time we reached Dorking I felt about ready to die, and was struggling to catch my breath. Oddly enough I began to feel better after about halfway, I relaxed and really enjoyed the ride home.

All this tarmac travelling made me realise that I have an old road bike in the shed, that has been on my “I must get round to sorting that out” list for about the last 2 years. This weekend, among the other odd jobs I was doing, I dragged the bike out of the shed, convinced that the bike would be in an awful condition and need all sorts of bits to make it rideable.

To my surprise it was actually in pretty good nick, and with the tyres pumped up, the brakes adjusted slightly and the saddle moved a bit, it was instantly a going concern. There are a few things that need replacing, so with the outlay of a few quid I should have a bike I can ride to build up my fitness, without the need to slow everybody down as I drag my fat arse along at the back of the group.

So I intend to try and get out on my newly re-discovered road bike a couple of times a week, and build up my stamina, breathing and leg muscles, so that I can get back out with the gang.

In the same way that Katy Perry is concerned that kissing another girl might make her a lesbian, I can’t help but wonder if riding a road bike again will make me want to try joining the Dark Side, and become a roadie!

Only time will tell.

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